There’s a particular type of suffering experienced in Britain during a heatwave. On the third day, social media posts start switching from “Finally some real weather” to pictures of sunsets. By the fourth day, people are all on their kitchen floors at 2am because their floor tiles are cooler than their bed.
Last July I was seriously considering sleeping at my local Tesco. At least the air conditioning worked.
One of the problems with British heatwaves is that literally none of the housing stock here is suitable for warm weather. Most homes are essentially heat-traps created to keep the cold out. Offices blast heating to make sure everyone stays comfortable when it’s freezing outside and not when it’s 90+ F. Air conditioning is some sort of mythic luxury that only appears in chain restaurants and in the homes of people who had the foresight to buy AC units.
Which brings about this crazy challenge of finding ways to present oneself in clothing that is functional for both high heat and looking like a fully functioning member of society.
This is something I’ve dealt with for years now, and I’m starting to realize that my workplace is becoming a sort of lab for determining what types of clothing are truly effective at helping people stay cool vs. what simply looks good for hot weather.
Those adorable cropped blazers that everyone loves taking photos of in their Instagram feeds? Total torture devices when it reaches 95+ F. That perfectly fitted cotton t-shirt that takes great photos for content? A sweat map that highlights exactly where your body meets the fabric.
Fabric choice becomes everything when it comes to working during a heat wave. Cotton sounds obvious – not all cotton is created equal. Look for loose, light weight fabrics that touch your skin as little as possible. I learned this the hard way last summer when I wore what I thought was a reasonable cotton dress to work and basically melted by lunch time. The dress clung to every part of me that could sweat (which in retrospect was probably all parts), so it effectively functioned as a sweat map for areas of my body where I didn’t expect to sweat.
Linen is obviously the holy grail, however even then you have to be thoughtful about your choices. Those styled linen garments that look so stylish on Instagram? Will turn you into a prisoner trapped in a strait jacket made of sandpaper when it’s truly hot. What you actually want is a soft, wrinkled-looking linen garment that looks loosely constructed. I have this dress from COS that I initially thought was far too large to be flattering, but after last summers’ heat apocalypse, it became my go-to. The dress drapes across your body rather than sitting against it, which I guess is revolutionary when you’re basically living in an oven.
In an attempt to scientifically determine (okay fine I just documented via iPhone) which outfit combinations were tolerable during the heat wave (i.e. wouldn’t lead me to pretend to die), my COS dress clearly won hands down. It had a perfect low V-neckline that allowed me to avoid the gross under-chin sweat area, hit at this magic length that allowed airflow while preventing me from sticking to every surface I sat upon. Game Changer.
What I found most surprising was a Jumpsuit, which seems counter-intuitive since you’re essentially wearing a onesie. However, this wide legged cotton jumpsuit from Whistles was absolutely wonderful – wide enough to allow for air circulation; sleeveless so I avoided any nasty armpit situations; one-piece so there was no waistband rubbing against my heat-swollen midsection. Downside was having to disrobe completely whenever I needed to use the bathroom, but honestly, that seemed a small price to pay for not feeling like I was being slowly cooked alive.
Some styles of clothing that appear ideal for hot weather are complete nightmares in reality. Those paper-bag waist shorts that are EVERYWHERE on TikTok? Essentially wearing a trash bag wrapped around the hottest part of your body. Any style of clothing featuring elastic waistbands becomes torture when you’re already swollen due to heat. Polyester – even the newer breathable versions – transforms into wearable cling film once temps reach 75F.
My colleague from somewhere actually hot, schooled me in the art of conducting a “Sweat Audit” prior to purchasing any clothing intended for summer. You basically rub your hand through the garment and ask yourself: if I sweat here, would it show drastically; create unsightly damp stains; or dry quickly and quietly disappear? If an item fails the quick-drying test, it does NOT make it into regular rotation. Sounds obvious but it has saved me from countless purchases that would have been absolute disasters.
Clothing Undergarments become surprisingly key components of hot-weather survival, which isn’t typically conversational fare, but whatever. Cotton is obvious, yet the cut matters more than expected. Cute Brazilian-cut one-pieces may seem less fabric equals less heat, but they create…uncomfortable circumstances in precisely the wrong locations. Suddenly full-coverage cotton doesn’t seem so terrible even if it doesn’t win any Instagram underwear contests.
Bras are basically torture devices when it’s actually hot, regardless of how well they fit. Wearing cotton bralettes or crop tops as substitutes for bras felt like a form of liberation ; Yes there is less support, but there is much less sweaty elastic digging into your rib cage when you’re already wondering why you chose to exist in such a climate.
Shoes are another form of madness during heatwaves. Clearly you want minimum coverage, but you still have to commute and walk on REAL British Pavement that aren’t conducive to barefoot living. I went through phases of using flip flops (total disaster for walking anywhere and inexplicably produces sweat between your toes), then birkenstocks (slightly better but the footbed becomes slick when you’re actively sweating), until finally I settled on proper leather fisherman sandals. In fact I spent money on a pair of Grenson ones last summer that cost almost as much as my monthly cell phone bill, but amazingly survived three weeks of continuous heat without inflicting a single blister on me. Miracle Worker.
Dressing for office wear during heatwaves is an entirely separate level of Hell because virtually all workplaces still require employees adhere to dress code guidelines written specifically for standard British weather conditions ie., mild and depressing temperatures nearly always prevail. One co-worker I know works for some fancy law firm has perfected what she refers to as “Stealth Cooling” ; outfits that appear professional yet contain hidden elements beneficial for heat relief. Examples include: wide leg linen blend pants that qualify as formal attire, sleeveless shells underneath blazers you can discreetly shed when necessary, dresses constructed from fabrics that do not cling to each sweaty surface.
The secret lies in including one stiff piece ; usually a lightweight blazer ; that you can put on for big occasions and promptly discard once you’ve met the required standards of professionalism. I have witnessed people carrying silk scarves in their bags at work and wrapping them around their neck/shoulders when the air conditioning suddenly blasts arctic air forcing people into that uniquely British state of simultaneous overheating and freezing.
When you work-from-home during heat waves ; everything changes. My WFH Heat Wave Uniform consists of essentially “Presentable from Waist Up.” Video call-worthy cotton tops paired with my shortest-most loosest shorts available for non-video camera comfort. I keep a spray bottle in my fridge and spritz myself between meetings which makes me feel like an unhappy house plant but offers actual relief. Some coworkers have conducted entire Zoom-based business meetings with their feet submerged in buckets of ice water ; The Modern version of maintaining your Professional Composure While Internally Screaming.
Evenings during heatwaves are particularly problematic because we’re all dead set on making the most out of the weather, even while we’re dissolving into puddles of sweat. Last Summer I attended a Garden Party on literally the hottest day of the year dressed in a loose linen midi with a dark print (chosen strategically to conceal sweat-stains). For Mosquitoes alone I brought along a cotton shirt to drape over my shoulders. Unfortunately the temperature never really dropped either.
Most importantly, I have come to understand that layers are far more practical than single layer minimalist clothing because our infrastructure cannot produce consistent temperatures to save its life. That cute sundress may appear perfect for 93 degree heat but will instantly lose functionality once you enter an overly zealous air conditioned store or experience one of those sudden drop-offs in temperature that reminds you that you’re still technically living in England regardless of what your thermometer reads.
My heat wave wardrobe has undergone extensive experimentation through numerous disasters (including one particularly disastrous silk dress-turned-sweat-map-system at a wedding), and ultimately developed into something relatively functional. My collection includes: three loose linen dresses in darker colors or prints; Two pairs of wide-legged linen pants; Several oversized cotton shirts; Basic cotton tank tops; A lightweight cardigan for when the air conditioning becomes unreasonably cold; Leather Fisherman Sandals; Minimal slides; An Emergency Cooling Kit located permanently in my bag from June through September.
For Brits ; the general approach toward hot weather clothing will continue to be somewhat improvisational since spending large sums of money on clothing for potentially two-week periods of extreme temperatures annually seems utterly irrational. As such extreme temperature events occur more frequently ; perhaps we need to develop more intentional approaches toward developing Hot Weather Wardrobes ; not Panic Buying whatever H&M has on sale as soon as it reaches 75F ; but intentionally collecting pieces that address our unique British Heat Challenges ; requiring to present ourselves professionally while melting; Dealing with extreme temperature fluctuations between outside & Public Transportation; Knowing it can rain during a heatwave.
During the height of last July’s heat wave chaos, I saw this woman on the Central line (essentially the closest experience to being slow-cooked available in modern Britain) who clearly understood how to dress for heat waves. Her outfit consisted of: A Sleeveless Loose Navy Linen Jumpsuit; Simple Leather Slides; A Straw Bag containing what appeared to be a cotton Cardigan; Water Bottle; Portable Fan. She looked completely composed while everyone else around her resembled various levels of collapse due to heat-related trauma. Out of pure nosiness I stopped being rude and asked her about her outfit.
She whipped out her portable fan pointed it directly at her face then sprayed me directly, saying “Linen – Low Expectations – Leaving my Dignity Behind – That’s How You Survive a British Heat Wave.”
Honestly? That’s the best advice anyone has given me while slowly melting away on public transportation
